An Alternative Easter
God stuff for the Godless
I am not at all a religious man. I mean, I have no problem with religion, in theory. Although history does suggest to me that, in practice, once people start practicing religion, things can tend to go sideways quite quickly. Or over thousands of years. There really seems to be something of a disconnect between theory and practice there, all in the name of some mythical, mysterious, being.
In my humble opinion.
This is not to say that I do not believe in God. In this freaky universe, there are way freakier things than believing in a God. Or Gods, if that’s what you’re into. Also I’m heading towards that age when it seems sensible not to rule anything out.
Just in case.
All of which is a roundabout way of getting to the point that Easter is currently right amongst us. Two whole days off work (for those lucky enough to have work), ostensibly for religious reasons. Which means, for those of us who sit on the fence when it comes to all things Godly, that there is a degree of hypocrisy involved, when it comes to observing Easter. Not that we’re ever going to turn down the chance of free statutory holidays, because holidays are good things. It’s just that we will be observing them for entirely different reasons than it says on the calendar.
Or no reason at all, if the truth be told.
This is why I think we should have alternative, non-religious options available when it comes to Easter. That way no-one would have to feel like a hypocrite. You want to do your religious thing, go for your life. Meanwhile I’ll be over here, celebrating other stuff.
Good Friday confuses me slightly because I can see nothing good at all in being crucified. But according to the many minutes of in-depth research I undertook for this piece the Good may be derived from God’s Friday because the day is meant to be all about him/her/it (and their son in a guest-starring role). Or it might be that it’s because Jesus took one for the entire human team, which was a pretty good thing for a guy to do. Sacrifice is apparently a good thing – except for the one being sacrificed, of course.
Actually I quite like the idea of a day where we thank those who have made sacrifices for us. Calling it Sacrifice Friday is probably not ideal, but it will do for now. History is absolutely littered with great sacrifice stories. The British, it seems, used to specialize in sacrificing themselves. “The Titanic is sinking, you say? And there are not enough lifeboats for everyone? Then of course I’ll stay on board and play my clarinet as she goes down. It would be my absolute honour to die like this, as an Englishman.”
So my suggestion for Sacrifice Friday would be to find a sacrificial lamb you can get behind and then spend the day respecting what they did for the rest of us. History is littered with loads of great civil rights leaders who were martyred for their cause, as a place to start looking. Hell yeah they deserve a day where we reflect on the better world they helped create – even if that world is turning to hell in a handcart, even as we speak.
And you don’t even need to go to a church to observe Sacrifice Friday. The Church of Couch will do just fine.
Easter Saturday is a bit of a nothing day, in the whole Easterly run of things. Apparently, it is meant to be a day of quiet reflection. Quiet reflection is something I totally can get behind. Sleep in. Contemplate the stuff that needs doing round the house, but never quite get to doing any of it. Sit in front of the TV, reflecting on how the Warriors and the Hurricanes will screw things up this season.
Religion or no religion, I think we should leave Easter Saturday well alone.
Easter Sunday seems to be the biggie, in terms of all things Eastorial. The Resurrection. Now there was a cool move. Dead a couple of days ago, roll away the stone and guess who’s back. Even the word itself looks cool: resurrection. No wonder they save it for the title of about the fourth movie in a franchise, in a hope to resurrect the box office.
Resurrection.
Everyone loves a comeback, so in a non-religious Easter we should be celebrating just that very thing. Comeback Sunday. Sure, there are some comebacks we can live without. Like how Winston Peters keeps coming back, just when we thought we’d got rid of him. And fashion is absolutely full of unwanted re-runs. Pick a decade, any decade and if you wait long enough, the worst hairstyles and clothing from that decade will pop up again.
Bad bad comebacks.
But flip that coin and you will find a plethora of great comebacks, all worthy of Comeback Sunday. Muhammed Ali, banned from boxing, came back to be The Greatest. Elvis Presley, he came back. John Travolta. Apparently Justinian II came back, as did Eleanor of Acquitaine and heaps of other historical figures I know very little about.
Again it is not the who that matters, but the fact that they all got knocked down and then got back up again. On Comeback Sunday we would celebrate our favourite comeback story, in a nondenominational way, maybe by watching a biopic about them, from the Church of Couch.
Easter Monday seems, as far as I can make out, to exist only so that we can all have a day off after Easter Sunday. Which is odd, because if you believe the Bible (as many people do) then Easter Monday was when Jesus went back to work by doing Jesus things like healing people. Essentially then, it is a day when everyone else gets to lounge around while the J-man does the mahi.
Not that I’m suggesting for a single minute that we should flag Easter Monday as a statutory holiday, just because it makes no sense. No way, we worked hard to have this day off and if others have to work so that we can laze around, snoozing on the Church of Couch, then good for them. Maybe we can reframe Easter Monday, in a non-religious sense, as a day when we afford ourselves the time and space (on the Church of Couch) to appreciate the good work of others. Mahi Appreciation Day.
So there we have it, a whole long weekend, born from religion but now reframed in a guilt-free and stress-free way for the atheists and agnostics among us.
You can thank me from the Church of Couch, in your own time.