Asking for a friend

Dear You, the People of the United States of America,

We, the People of the Rational World, very much feel that an explanation is in order, after recent events.

Out here, in our world, where there are still a few remaining outposts of logic and reason, we are struggling to make sense of, well, everything that just the fuck happened.

On the face of it, it seemed like the whole thing with you guys electing someone to run you was a straightforward competition between an actual person, with actual human traits and emotions, able to string a coherent sentence together, versus a…??

Versus a…??

A what?

Out here, in Saneland, it was hard for us reasonable people to define what the forces of humanity and reality were actually up against, in the campaign that has just unfolded (and imploded) before our horrified eyes. Is he a rampant narcissist? Or a delusional psychopath? A demented old douchebag?  All of the above?

We mean, how hard is it to defeat an opponent with so many clear and obvious flaws as a human being (if, indeed, he qualifies as human)?

To us, with our world view comfortably cushioned by logic and reason, there was no actual choice. It wasn’t exactly Good versus Evil, but it was as close to it as we would ever get.  And Good would triumph, because logic and reason states that humanity has to be intrinsically good, otherwise what is the fucking point of our existence?

And then, every time the rampant narcissist/delusional psychopath/demented old douchebag/all of the above opened his mouth, it was like he was doubling down on how stupid he thought you all were. Oh, how we laughed at the shit that tumbled from his mouth.

In terms of being a no-brainer, when one of the candidates has no discernible brain, isn’t that the actual definition of a no-brainer?

But now, one question remains, though in many differing forms.

How?

Seriously, how?

How the fuck did this just happen?

Were you all not watching and listening, over the last few weeks, months and years?

Are you all being held captive by some evil, malignant force (other than the one you just voted in)?  

If so, blink twice or do whatever you can, to send out a cry for help, to a world where humanity still applies.

I’m not sure what we’ll be able to do, given that you guys have all the money and guns, but we can probably start a petition and go on marches and stuff.

But seriously, what we’d all like to know, for starters, is how the fuck this abomination happened because it utterly makes no sense out here.

So, on behalf of We, the People of the Rational World, an explanation from You, the People of the United States of America, would be good.

Please.

Seriously.

Really seriously.

Sincere regards,

Reality